Saturday, February 29, 2020

It's officially a business


Today is the day. My hobby is not only a hobby, it is officially a business and I am very proud of myself. Because no matter how scary it is and how hard it will be- I am on it. Even if no one believes in me but me- That is definitely enough.

It is O.K to not be O.K.


Today I am not O.K and that is O.K. It is O.K to not be O.K. But every time I feel that way, I promise myself tomorrow will be better. And most of the time it works. Something great happens.

Routine

I have a routine. I get up at 6:30 AM, I go to work, I pick up my brother from work on the way back, go to the gym and straight to bed by 23:00 PM. Every day, all week. When I go to bed, I am not cold, there is a door who keeps me safe, how precious is that. Sometimes I forget it.

Happiness


Happiness. I can be in the most beautiful spot, eating the most delicious meal, wear something that makes me feel good- but ruin the experience with thoughts running through my head. Hi lady. Slow down. No need to ruin the now for the later. We can never know what it turns out to be anyway.

Pure happiness


“ A moment of pure happiness a day is a lot”. I wrote that in one of my Pinterest pins, someone saved it and I choked up. Someone saved my thought and I loved it. Dear friend, I wish you a lot of pure happiness moments. Thank for investing your time in my page. Thank you for supporting my dream. Thank you.

Friday, February 28, 2020

How can I tell you without being rude?

We don’t need to kiss on a daily basis. This is what I needed to tell them a long time ago but I just couldn’t. They are nice! but seriously, do you kiss your coworker on a daily basis? You know, I saw you yesterday and I will probably see you again tomorrow. It is me, not you but how can I tell you without being rude?
No matter what you will think of me, I need to tell you because- I don’t like it. 

“A world of only good”

“A world of only good”. A former work colleague mentioned she always says that when she goes to bed. No overthinking, no energy invested- just good. I don’t know what I think about it- but I know I always remember it when I go to bed.

Overthinking


Just breathe. Yesterday at the gym I was sitting, thinking in between sessions about all the things I need to do afterwards. I had this blank look on my face. You could tell I was overthinking. It made me nervous, anxious and not present. Then, for a minute, I thought of all the things I have already done - and it immediately made me feel better. I should do it more often.

Nice gesture I will likely always remember

We can never know how powerful our small gestures are to the people in front of us. You already know I am a big fan of free parking spots. And so, yesterday I found my free parking spot but I had no chance of doing it without someone’s help. And then she came, smiled the whole time through guiding me. I thanked her and said “What a great start for my birthday”. Thank you nice lady, for a nice gesture I will likely always remember.

Happy birthday to ME

Today is my birthday. I am still sleeping in my childhood room, still the one everyone calls when there is a problem but, I am happy. I am doing what I always wanted. And so, 2020 will forever be the year of pursuing dreams. 
Happy birthday to me.


Thursday, February 27, 2020

Now it’s the time

I am scared. Now it’s the time. No more waiting, no more excuses, now it is the time to start selling- but I am scared. Up until now it was me and my sawing machine, designing in my head and make it! My space, my schedule, my way but now, I need to be out there. Put myself and my work to be criticized, to be shown with my name on it, taking responsibility and manage my way through it. And even though I am scared- I should do it anyway.

“Where did you come from and Where are you going in life?”

Open space people tend to ask a lot of questions. You can’t make a coffee without exchanging words with the others sharing the space with you. And so, first thing in the morning I get to see a new guy. I can barely open your eyes but he has a lot of questions for me. “Where did you come from and Where are you going in life?”. Maaaan, I don’t even know what I want to eat for lunch. And that’s O.K.

Long hair don’t care

Long hair don’t care. I have a long brown hair and I use to cut it a little bit every now and then. I have never colored my hair and I always wanted to. But I always have excuses to way not. Lose a little pounds so it will look better, do it when white hair shows up, do it when you will meet someone who would like it. No. I am doing it. For me. Wish me luck.

I have been here before

I have been here before. Wanting something and doing whatever it takes. I was 19 and I wanted to be a commander in the army. It was my goal, my dream and I had no one saying “You can do it”.  I used to visual myself in that role until I got it. And now I am here again. picturing. Working 12 hours a day for over 6 months towards another dream.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Free parking

Free parking is my thing. I just love it. I don’t know if it is because I am cheap or because others are paying while I just got away with it. And so I found one this morning. I was happy and thankful as usual and then he came. Saying this spot is perfect for him. “maybe you can get back here at 15:00 and give me that parking spot” because “I was right behind you”. That is the point- You were right behind me.

Day by day

Don’t get me twisted. I am eating my own head off daily. I am constantly thinking, reading, double booking, writing, listening, learning. And so this week I am practicing stop overthinking. I have printed a 30 day schedule and that is it. Thinking only 30 days ahead. Not overthinking about my age, my work, my life, what I don’t have and what I do. No. just taking it day by day- Now Let’s see how much it lasts.

Today is A happy day


I have mentioned to her I no longer sit with friends for coffee or going to the mall. “Don’t you think it is extreme?” She replied while making her something to eat in the kitchen. I don’t. I am happy. Who knows what will happen tomorrow- But today is A happy day.

Just breathe

Don’t be too tough on yourself. I keep reminding myself. Be nice. Even though you didn’t go to the gym today, even if you didn’t do something productive or even if you didn’t do anything today. Everything is ok. Just breathe.

“You look like a Party girl”


“You look like a Party girl” said one of the open-space guys. Another one next to him confirmed “Yes, she really does look like one”. Clearly, I am not. 
No parties, no alcohol, not even smelling desserts. But why did it bothered me so much?! I mean, I don’t know these guys so why do I even care what they think of me.

Priceless



And now I am here. Open space for artists. And let me Tell you - easy? Not really. From the most loud girl I have turned into the most quiet. From an hour launch breaks to none. From 8 hours of sleep to ZERO but hey, Driving here every morning knowing there is no other place a rather be- is priceless.

“How do You say thank you for the best year of your life?”


“How do You say thank you for the best year of your life?” That is what I wrote to my favorite teacher. It was I miracle happened to me by a woman who Posted on Facebook “If you want to learn how to make and sell clothes- this is the best one”. The next day I was in. It ended 6 months ago. A year of pure happiness. No Hi-tech coffee, no special facilities only human assets - and I loved every minute of it.

At that moment I knew- I need to leave

At that moment I knew- I need to leave.  It was two years ago, I was sitting in a conference room at one of the most powerful companies in the world.  I remember I had 24 hours to prepare something- but I did it and I did it well. At that moment I knew- I am not going to take their offer. I am going to leave.