Every night I lay my head on my pillow there are so many thoughts running through my head. Questions with no answers. Wondering if I am brave enough? If I can really do it for a living?, Will I be alone forever? but without trying to answer I tell myself "No matter what happens, you are going to be OK".
Wednesday, March 31, 2021
Tuesday, March 30, 2021
Start small
"What if I will get an order of 100 shirts?" I thought to myself and couldn’t sleep all night. It's unlikely but possible, knowing the option is very clear. Don’t make a hundred shirts. Start with Forty. Forty shirts are what you are capable of producing? Start there. Please remember, the most important thing is to ship it exactly as you imagined. Close to perfect.
Monday, March 29, 2021
A smile
I got to see all the pictures today. All the pictures representing my brand. But a picture is not the real deal. The texture, the fit, the bright colors. Only reality can show you what it's really like. I am hoping you will get a glimpse of it through the picture and a smile when you wear it.
Sunday, March 28, 2021
Saturday, March 27, 2021
Prioritize
I don’t like the word "prioritize". That means you left something behind, and I don’t like it. I Love checking off everything on my list, and I love doing it all by myself. But soon I will realize if I want to do it right, I better learn how to prioritize, trust people and even realize I can't do it all- And that is O.K.
Friday, March 26, 2021
Happiness
When you are making the steps you never thought you will be brave enough to do- that is where happiness comes from. I talked to my middle school teacher, telling her about my journey saying I was never happier in my life. knowledge, skills, progress, and possibilities are where my happiness comes from, not the other way around.
Thursday, March 25, 2021
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
You deserve it!
There are more than 4,000 of you. kind people who find my work interesting enough to push the “follow” button. I get emails from you saying kind words that mean the world to me. But it’s all a secret. I have no one to share it with. Maybe It’s for the better, those rounds of applause you are waiting for- You can do them to yourself. You deserve it!
Tuesday, March 23, 2021
Powerful than anything
I am getting emails from you, my new friends. And I am happy. When you will wear it, you will think about kindness. About people giving you things they put time and effort to- for free. I am not wondering if you will buy from me or not- I am thinking about you being proud of yourself wearing something you made. And that is more powerful than anything.
Monday, March 22, 2021
Especially yourself
I told him it would be ready tomorrow. I didn’t want to disappoint him but mainly I didn't want to disappoint myself. You want your word to count not only in the eyes of others but yourself. Especially yourself. And so I was nervous the whole day wondering if I can make it or not. Likely, I did. But, what would have happened if I didn’t?
Sunday, March 21, 2021
I can’t see.
I can’t see. I want to, I got the energy and motivation but my body says something else. He is exhausted. I am trying not to say the word tired anymore. I want to change it with another word. But it doesn’t matter how you call it- you better sit down. And breath.
Saturday, March 20, 2021
I have no other choice
I am supposed to know by now how to produce my collection. Once all the patterns are ready, the hard part suppose to be behind you. When people ask you when can they buy, you suppose to give them a proper answer, not to panic. The solution I have at the moment contains three stops instead of one. I don’t know how I will figure it out- I just know I have no other choice.
Friday, March 19, 2021
"Now what?"
"Now what?" I said to myself this morning. And the answer was very clear. The numbers are not supposed to confuse you, they suppose to make you work even harder. To push you in the areas you are scared to go. And so, I am here. At work. The schedule stays the same and I am sticking to it. Not letting the buzz confuse me.
Thursday, March 18, 2021
I woke up to 2000 of you
If you saw me now, you would know- This is a happy face even if tears are running through my face. These are tears of joy, of hope, of believing in yourself despite all. I woke up to 2000 of you. Kind people who loved my work. Exactly how I saw it in my dreams.
Wednesday, March 17, 2021
Emotional is an understatement
They were with me. They listened. They felt I was emotional. They even said it. How could I not be? Now you can see it on a clothing rack. You can touch the product, but I know the whole story, the tears, the pain, the loneliness, and heartbreak. Emotional is an understatement.
Tuesday, March 16, 2021
A story about beating your own head
In two hours I will show my collection to strangers. Strangers on a fashion tour around the city. This time, I don’t need to make a rehearsal. I know exactly what to talk about. It's my life. This is not a talk about inspiration nor a color pallet. This is a conversation about motivation, failure, and consistency. A story about beating your own head.
Monday, March 15, 2021
Flags
I am looking at them every day on my way back home. They are standing on the streets holding our national flag alongside a black one. And I wonder. Don't you know people built this country with the bare hands, people gave their own lives so you could be here safe and protected?. Alive. You want to hold a black flag to symbolize your heart- I get it but don’t hold your national flag on the same hand.
Sunday, March 14, 2021
Saturday, March 13, 2021
Today is your day
Not long ago, if I didn’t know the meaning of a certain word or term I would add it to my list. A list someday I would go back to. Now, I don't use that list anymore. When I don't know something, I immediately look it up. No "tomorrow" anymore. Today is your day.
Friday, March 12, 2021
Just the way I like it
It's quiet. Just the way I like it, and I can breathe again. I am here. In my comfort zone. My table. My space. When I am here I don’t want to be anywhere else. I feel this is where I belong. But life doesn’t work that way, stepping out of it- is where the journey begins.
Thursday, March 11, 2021
Think about the “new” you
I haven’t bought myself anything for the past year. Today I had that feeling again, that high you get when you purchase something you love, something that makes you feel good. You carry it home with you and think about the “new” you. You get that feeling of excitement that puts everything else aside.
Wednesday, March 10, 2021
Tuesday, March 9, 2021
Am I right?
I was sitting there, watching them walk around in a clothing store and wonder. When you buy clothes what made you say "yes"?. Is it what people are going to say when they see you wearing it, is it a feeling, or maybe because it's cheap. What is it? I am not sure I made my collection for you young lady, I think I made it for me. And the question is- Am I right?
Monday, March 8, 2021
This is who you are
Most of the time I am stressed over never-ending tasks, body aches, and heartbroken. But that extra step I make in every decision is the one who will make me a winner. No need to apologize, this is who you are.
Sunday, March 7, 2021
They exist
He opened the door and smiled. I spoke to him oner the phone this morning and after a few hours, he opened the door to his house. I came with a lot of questions and uncertainty but he didn’t want anything in return. He explained with patience, honesty, and a smile. They do exist my mom keeps saying. And she is right.
Saturday, March 6, 2021
Friday, March 5, 2021
No regrets
Every time I make a big step forward, I get cold feet. Sometimes it feels
like I haven’t even started yet, wondering if I can really pull it off. When I get
those feelings, I know they are there for a reason. I know only time will tell
but one thing I know for sure- No regrets.
Thursday, March 4, 2021
If you set your mind to it
Notes are my thing. I write notes. For everything. Yesterday I went through my old notes on my phone- and saw it. The progress, the overcoming, the forward motion despite all obstacles. Sometimes I feel like things are not moving the way I want- but no matter what, they move. If you set your mind to it.
Wednesday, March 3, 2021
Just the way I like it
I have this big bag on my lap. It's the first step to something great.
Now it is just a fabric with no shape, no function, no color. And that is where my mind starts working. You think. You cut. You sew, You do it all over again. One day it
will be a well-designed bag. One that made me think. A lot. Just the way I like it.
Tuesday, March 2, 2021
Different eyes
When you think about success what do you think about it? Do you see it as something happening in the near future or do you feel it every day?. Sometimes I feel like I already made it. Because I am no longer who I used to be. I am looking at the world with different eyes. I am less scared, and even if I am, I know that is exactly where I need to be.
Monday, March 1, 2021
No limits in dreaming
I am looking at it as if it was already mine. The perfect new store at the perfect street with the right amount of light at the perfect boutique building. I can barely effort to buy the fabrics they sell on those streets let alone rent my own clothing store. But there are no limits in dreaming. It's free and available for everyone. Being where I am today was also a dream one day.
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